Film Review – HAUNTED (3D)

It seems to me as if one morning Bhatt got up, and said to himself, “I’m gonna make a 3D movie. And make it I WILL!”… and he went ahead and did just that. Unfortunately for the audience, he was clearly confused about the theme of the movie. Whilst a part of him was determined to make a horror movie, the other part, subconsciously, perhaps, ended up making a 2+ hour comedy film with some horrible make-up and senseless story.

Vikram Bhatt Haunted Film Review   HAUNTED (3D)

Haunted 3D

Let’s start from the top. This film had me laughing throughout. I’m a person who easily gets freaked out by even the most basic of horror movies, like Raaz. But Haunted 3D had me in splits throughout. May it be the basic storyline [ghost raping another ghost for 80 years, and a man wanting to put an end to it, so he somehow goes 80 years back in time to set things right], the direction [is it a horror or a comedy?], the performances [all the actors were TERRIBLE], the ideas [ghost’s cannot read… so if there’s one standing near you you can just talk to the normal person in front of you through, let’s say, SMSes, and the ghost would just be scratching his head. I mean… HAHA!], and the execution [movie sucks, basically].

What Sucks.

haunted 3D lead pair Film Review   HAUNTED (3D)

Haunted 3D lead pair

The performances. The only one who even close to knows what acting means, is the lead actor, who’s name I shall not try to Google right now because I don’t think he deserves that much importance. The others, the lead actress, the raping ghost, the house maid, the Sufi Saint, all of them, are, in one word, terrible.

The direction. Whilst there is definitely a flow, and there are a very few boring parts, I still don’t think that Bhatt has made his masterpiece yet. Oh sorry, I mean, I don’t think Vikram Bhatt has made his one movie that will truly be called a horror yet. And anyways, the performances are a reflection of the director’s efforts.

Slight Redeemers

Music… some of it is good. Like the piano themes, and the haunting song that the dead girl sings… others are very average.

3D is good. The only aspect of the film that was well done was the 3D. Of course, since that was apparently Bhatt’s only aim… one could say he fulfilled what he set out for in Haunted.

I seriously don’t know what to write about this, except that the whole theatre was laughing with us [the 3D has earned this movie a lot of house-fulls]. Most, I mean. And in the final 25 minutes are some of the funniest scenes that our industry has ever produced. It’s when the likes of Spider-Man, Source Code, Hera Pheri, Harry Potter and Bhatt all combine to give us the best dose of laughter ever!

So should you go for it?

Depends. Do you have free time? Are you a person easily scared? Or are you a person who likes to laugh at bad horror attempts? Do you seriously have more than two hours to do nothing?

Then go for it.

My Rating: 1/5.

smiley rating 2 by 52 Film Review   HAUNTED (3D)

 

 

I mean, I swear man. I have nothing else to write.

pixel Film Review   HAUNTED (3D)

About [jSk].d@.cYn!C

Jaskunwar is a crazy person who claims that he has a different way of thinking. He believes that Bollywood today needs serious reform, in the psychological sense. That films are not just about 'Masalas and item numbers'. Aspiring to be a Film Director himself, he has recently completed school and is moving towards achieving his dream of getting home an Oscar for India.

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7 Responses to Film Review – HAUNTED (3D)

  1. abhishek modi May 11, 2011 at 5:49 am #

    Not worth writing for, then why did you. You gave a 2 which was more than generous, I would have given it a quarter of a half, only because you know why..

    • [jSk].d@.cYn!C May 11, 2011 at 9:06 am #

      Ah well. BollyKings is updated with everything… be it even bullshit!

      • Abhishek Modi May 11, 2011 at 9:17 am #

        I love it.. I love it.. I love it… lol

        Now, I am going to big cinemas this friday and grab people’s voice on that MMS movie.. :D

        • [jSk].d@.cYn!C May 12, 2011 at 1:04 am #

          With Shriyam!

  2. Aney May 16, 2011 at 3:04 am #

    What the hell !! It was not that scary !! But it was not that bad !!

    • [jSk].d@.cYn!C May 17, 2011 at 9:47 am #

      Perceptions, Aney!

  3. mohanpreet singh May 22, 2011 at 4:52 am #

    jsk u r absolutely right about this film as if someone want to see a real comedy horror movie then its one of the best and anyways this films has exceptional horror scene like running in air and some amazing break dance etc. which this a comedy horror movie. well if you are really free then please go and watch this movie as its a good time pass.

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